Chore Day
by Wulfster
Summary: Well, this is what happens when you manipulate me into writng a kingdom hearts story.....It's chore day for Organization 13, rated M for language, and lots of i,plied adultness
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts 1-2 Chain of Memories, if I did, Roxas and Axel would bang on cue**

Xemnas sighed, he hated chore day for exactly this reason.

"Fuck chores, why the hell do I have to do shit?" He looked up to Axel,

"It's like sex with Kolby Briant, you can kick or scream all you want, but it's going to happen." Axel sighed,

"But I hate dusting, it fucking sucks."

"No, that's you." Xigbar said, as he drew a piece of paper out of a hat. He read it,

"Damn it, I got to clean the bathroom."

"HAHA" Axel said pointing at the man. Marluxia walked up and drew,

"Cutting the grass." he read aloud,

"That's too easy, he's got the scythe thing, I demand he does something else." Demyx demanded from his seat,

"Shut up and go mop up those damn puddles." Xemnas said in an irritated voice.

"But they are my friends." Demyx whined. Xemnas shrugged,

"Get the fuck over it and get to mopping." Roxas looked at his chore,

"Could be worst, we barely ever use the car, so mine it's pretty easy to wash it." Xigbar glared at him with his good eye.

"What sucks, is that Larxene is banging Xemnas, so she can sit in the library and read her damn book." When the man turned to leave, Xemnas punched him in the back of the skull. Luxord cursed and stalked off.

"That should be everybody." Xemnas said, looking into the hat. Demyx sighed and got up,

"I really hate Thursdays." He said as he grabbed the mop from the closet. Zexion walked up behind him, he reach passed the blonde and grabbed the bleach. He turned to leave, when Demyx pinched his ass and ran off. The quite man turned to confront the mischievous motherfucker, but he had already run out of sight. Zexion turned and continued on to the laundry room.

* * *

Axel eyed the feather duster with a look of hatred.

"I hate you." He said to it. He sighed and picked it up, and began to rub it on the different pieces of furniture near him. He sighed,

"This sucks." He continued to swipe the duster around the room. In the adjacent room, Xaldin was staring down a pile of dirty dishes. He poked a plate with one of his spears and it shattered. Roxas turned to see what the noise was,

"NOT MY 'MY LITTLE PONY' PLATE." He yelled looking at eh shattered pieces. Tears started to stream down the young teen's face as he solemnly picked up the shards of his favorite plate. Xaldin shrugged and continued to poke plates with his spear. Axel walked in to the kitchen, casually swinging the feather duster around, to see Roxas crying on the floor.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he picked the teen off the floor.

"My… plate… broke." He said between sobs. Axel sighed,

"It's not the end of the world."

"But it's the end of my plate." Roxas whined, Axel laughed,

"Damn it Axel, get that fucking infant out of here. I'm trying to wash the dishes." Xaldin yelled,

"You're just poking them with your spear."

"What the hell's the difference?"

"Mental note, don't use the plates until next Thursday." Xaldin shrugged,

"Just get Roxas out of here, he's annoying the hell out of me." Axel nodded and took Roxas out of the kitchen, he looked around quickly, and shoved Roxas in a nearby closet, he followed him in and shut the door behind him.

* * *

Demyx sighed as he mopped up another of many puddles. He put the mop aside, and stated to wander around the compound. He looked out of the window, to see Marluxia cutting grass, trees, and bushes with his scythe, leaving all the flowers standing. Demyx continued until he reached the library, he cracked the door open to see Larxene and Xemnas going at like two rabbits. He quickly closed the door and ran off. As he reached the laundry room, he heard some movement coming from within. He looked in the door, and saw Zexion trying to get the lint trap out of the dryer. Demyx walked up behind him and tapped his shoulder, when Zexion turned, Demyx darted to the right, so as not to be seen. Zexion shrugged and continued to fix the dryer. Demyx tapped his shoulder again, this time when Zexion turned, Demyx leaned in, and their lips met. Zexion's face flushed, and Demyx smiled. As the quite teen stood there shocked, Demyx winked at him and walked off. After a few steps, he turned his head to see Zexion following behind him.

'Hooray!' Demyx thought as he led Zexion to his bedroom.

* * *

Xigbar sighed as he stared at the porcelain toilet sitting in front of him. He looked over the toilet brush and plunger,

"I hate this so much." he grabbed the brush and started to scrub the inside of the toilet,

"I know Xemnas rigged the hat so I'd have to do this. I'd kill him if he wasn't screwing around with Larxene." he said, thinking about what Larxene would do to him if he interrupted them. He swallowed nervously and scratched his head. He turned to grab some cleaner, when he tripped over his robes, and fell face first into the toilet. EH cursed loudly as he stood up, covered in water. He turned, to see Luxord walking past with a few pillows in his hands.

"Sucks to be you." He said as he walked off. Xigbar grumbled as he grabbed a nearby towel and dried his face. The one-eyed man followed behind Luxord quickly to maul him but when he entered the room Luxord had entered, the door slammed shut and Luxord grabbed Xigbar and pulled him onto the bed.

* * *

Xemnas left the library, casually fixing his robes as he walked. He looked around, seeing a few members of the organization missing. He looked out the window to see Marluxia still slicing away at plant life around the compound. He saw Vexen sweeping the dirt of the front porch, and Lexaeus failing miserably to sew a few holes in a couple of robes. Xemnas heard a few rustled movements from a closet near him and he knocked on the door,

"Occupied, go away." Axel's voice came. Xemnas was about to yell something about not hiding from the feather duster, when he heard Roxas moan inside the closet.


	2. Chapter 2

**I Don't Own Shit**

Xemnas stood there banging on the closet door, but the two people in there refused to leave.

"Axel, stop molesting Roxas, and don't give me that can't molest the willing crap."

"Screw you, at least my name isn't an anagram for MANSEX!" Axel yelled, practically singing the last word for maximum insult.

"Up your ass with broken glass you makeup wearing mother fucker."

"But Roxas isn't a mother." Axel said. Xemnas sighed,,

"I'll deal with you two later, just put your pants on and get the hell out of the damned closet." With that he walked off, to try and find the remaining missing organization members. As he walked, he noticed Xaldin poking the dishes with his spear, and Saix fighting with the rake behind the compound under the trees. HE heard a muffled voice coming from the room next to the laundry room and opened the door, suddenly, he wished he was back yelling at Axel

"Hey Xemnas." Demyx said from his position behind Zexion. Zexion flushed as Xemnas stood there shocked. Slowly, he shut the door and walked away, wishing he could clean his eyes with bleach to remove the sight forever. He warily walked toward the bedrooms, where Luxord was supposed to be making up beds, and Xigbar cleaning the bathroom. He stopped in the hall way, and listened. He could just make out the noise coming from a nearby bedroom, he froze and thought about what could happen if he opened the door. He shuddered and decided against it, in stead he went to the main lab and clicked on the microphone for the announcement system.

"Everyone in Organization 13, please stop fucking and come to the main lab. Thank you." He sighed and sat back to wait for his 'friends' to come to the lab.

* * *

Axel sighed and stepped out of the closet, fastening the ties of his robes and walked towards the lab, Roxas following behind him, trying to quickly get his robes back on. As they walked, they passed Demyx and Zexion walked out of a room, half naked and out of breath. Axel laughed at he two, Demyx smiled and shrugged. As the four of them walked, they noticed Xigbar and Luxord sneaking out of a bedroom. Demyx looked over to Axel, who had a devious smile on his face, 

"HEY XIGGY" he yelled, "YOU GOT SOMETHING WHITE ON YOUR FACE!" Xigbar looked at Axle with a look that spoke of never ending pain and torment for the red-head. Demyx laughed heartily.

"I, will kill you one day Axel, I'll shoot you in the head repeatedly, I'll fucking cut you with your own damn chakrams, or I'll set you up so that Larxene disembowels you for something. But you will die one day, and I'll be the one laughing." Axel shrugged,

"Seriously though, you do have stuff on your face." Xigbar scowled and looked away, unfortunately into a mirror. He growled as he saw that Axel was right. HE wiped his face and grumbled something about disemboweling the red-head. Luxord looked over to them,

"Why are Zexion and Roxas limping like that?" He asked with a mischievous smile. Axel and Demyx shrugged and grinned. The speaker above them crackled to life,

"Hurry up and get to the main lab. I can't wait all day." Xemnas's voice bellowed. The six men quickly ran to the main lab, to see everyone standing there waiting for them. Xemnas cleared his throat, and the twelve other's focused on him.

* * *

"While some of us, where screwing around, instead of doing there chores, I feel there should be some punishment." He looked over to Roxas and Demyx. " Since I know that Roxas and Zexion are too submissive to have initiated the things you four where doing, I'm going to blame Axel and Demyx. You two are to finish your chores, and your partner's chores." The two shrugged, 

"That's not to bad."

"In a French Maid outfit." The two stared, mouth's agate, as Larxene handed them the outfits.

"This sucks ass." Axel said as he stared at the clothing in his hands. Demyx laughed, he slid the outfit on,

"Could be worse." He said looking over to Roxas, who was shifting uncomfortably in his chair.

Demyx laughed evily and sat behind the boy. Xemnas looked over to Xigbar and Luxord,

"I don't know what you guys where doing, and I really don't want to know. So as long as I never find out, you won't be punished."

"But they where blowing each other." Axel said from his seat. Xemnas shuddered,

"I do not need that mental picture, damn it Axel." Axel shrugged, and Demyx gave Roxas's seat a hard kick. The boy screamed out,

"MY ASS!" he grabbed his ass and jumped out of the seat. Demyx roared with laughter. Axel smacked him in the back of the head, Demyx slugged him in the arm, the two started fighting and wrestling on the floor. Larxene looked at the two teens, dressed in skirts, wrestling on the floor.

"Surprisingly hot." she whispered as she watched. Xemnas sighed,

"GET BACK TO WORK!" he bellowed, everyone scrambled out of the room and back to their chores, except Zexion and Roxas, they limped out slowly, Roxas still whimpering from the kick to the seat. Larxene sauntered over to Xemnas,

"Something about to teen boys wrestling in drag made me extremely 'playful'." she said with a devious glint in her eye. She walked around the desk and pushed Xemnas onto the floor.

* * *

Demyx sighed, and put the last bit of laundry into the dryer. As soon as he hit the start button,he stripped of the maid's outfit and back into his robes. He sighed and left the room, to run into Axel. Demyx thought he would burst on the spot, the red-head standing there in his maid's outfit holding a feather duster. 

"You say anything, I will kill you."

"You're hot dude." Axel grumbled and walked off. Demyx laughed and Xemnas walked pst, red faced and out of breath.

"SO YOU GET TO 'SCREW AROUND' AND WE GET PUNISHED?!?!" Xmenas shrugged,

"I finished my chore first." Demyx growled and kicked Xemnas in the nuts. The tall man went done like a sack of bricks, and the blonde triumphantly walked off.


	3. Chapter 3

**I Still Don't Own Shit**

Xemnas cried as he laid there one the ground clutching his crotch

"I'll kill him." He said as he tried to stand. He limped off towards the kitchen, when he heard a loud crashing sound and much cursing. As he entered the kitchen, he saw Axel and Xaldin throwing plates, and broken plates at each other. He scanned the area, to see Roxas hiding in the corner, tears welling up in his eyes as he watched the fighting. When Xemnas looked back at the fighting men, he had to duck quickly to avoid having his eye punctured by a shard of a 'My Little Pony' plate.

"STOP FIGHTING!" he yelled, the two stopped and looked over to him. Axel throwing one final plate at Xaldin's head.

"He started it." Axel said pointing over to Xaldin.

"Screw you transvestite."

"I'M NOT A TRANSVESTITE GOD DAMN IT!" Axel yelled.

"Just tell me what happened." Xemnas said getting exasperated.

"He…he… broke my 'Power Puff Girls' plate" Roxas whined from the corner. Xemnas covered his eyes with his hand.

"Is that it? I thought it might have been important." Roxas whined louder,

"BUT IT WAS MY PLATE." he started bawling like an infant. Xemnas groaned.

"If it'll shut you up, you can get a new plate when we go shopping." Roxas squealed.

"YAY!" Xemnas sighed,

"Why the hell did I hire you in the first place?" He asked Roxas.

"This is why." With that, Roxas started to strip dance.

"OH MY GOD STOP!" Xemnas yelled as he watched the young boy took his clothes off piece by piece. He groaned as he sat up.

"Thank God it was a dream." he sighed, to notice Roxas running past him half nude. Axel following behind with even less clothing on. Xemnas fell back onto the floor, and was stepped on by Xaldin.

"If I catch you horny bastards fucking in my bed ever again, I'll break more than your favorite plate."

"Xaldin, if you enjoy having testicles, get the hell off me or I'll turn you into a woman the hard way." Xaldin quickly stepped off of his leader.

"Those fuckers were screwing in my room. We need to get Axel fixed, that way they'll act like normal people." Xemnas thought about it, slicing Axel's nuts of sounded like much fun.

"As fun as that sounds, I don't think it'll help. He crazy in the head, not the genitals." Xaldin shrugged and walked off.

* * *

Demyx walked around the castle, waiting until it was time to leave for the final chore, shopping. He felt good, after having kicked Xemnas in his netherds. The overhead crackled to life,

"Demyx, good going with the kickball. " Axel's voice came through. Demyx laughed,

"Anyway, listen up everyone, it's time to go to the store, so get a list together or live without stuff." The speaker silenced and Demyx walked towards the main exit. Roxas walked up behind him.

"Can I go with you guys?" he asked as he walked up to Demyx. Demyx shrugged, I don't see why not. Roxas smiled and jumped in the air.

"I Haven't been to the store before." He said giggling like a schoolgirl. Demyx laughed,

"If that's your idea of a good time, then I can show you heaven little man." He smiled his best suggestive smile and Roxas's face brightened.

"Really?" the naïve boy asked. Demyx nodded and went to grab the boy, when Axel's fist hit him hard in the back of the head.

"Only I get to enjoy the young one. Stick to your little quite guy."

"What about a trade?" Demyx asked, as Axel though it over, Xigbar and Xemnas showed up.

"Let's get going. Xigbar said as he sat in the car. Xemnas nodded, and they all pilled in.

* * *

They pulled into the store parking lot, and Roxas jumped out of the car.

"This is so awesome." he said as he looked around.

"Yeah, if you say so. Anyway, here is the list; eggs, milk, soda, Fruit Loops, tampons, and……."

"Did you just say tampons?" Axel asked,

"Well, we'll take the food, and you can do the hygiene stuff Xemnas." Demyx said grabbing the list with the food objects on it.

"No. I won't . I'm the fucking leader of Organization XIII, I'm not going to buy tampons."

"Well, you're screwing the person who needs them, so have fun." Xigbar said as he and the others ran off into the store.

"Damn it."

* * *

Roxas looked around in awe. The grocery store was large and smelled off people and plastic. Xigbar tapped him on the shoulder,

"Short stuff, go get some of these." He said, handing a small slip of paper to Roxas. Roxas looked at the paper,

'Condoms' it read. He looked at it quizzically, but when he went to ask where and what they were, the three others were gone.

"What did you tell him to get?" Axel asked, as Xigbar pushed him along.

"Nothing important, anyway all we need to get are eggs, milk, soda, and Fruit Loops. Who the hell eats Fruit Loops anyway?" Demyx shrugged,

"Probably Marluxia, he does weird shit all the time. Flower loving pansy." Axel laughed,

"Anyway, ill grab the eggs and the milk." He left and Xigbar looked down the aisle.

"Soda is right there, so all we need is the damn Fruit Loops, but I say fuck the cereal and spend the money on tequila." Demyx nodded,

"Good idea." The two walked down the aisle, grabbing a bottle of Pepsi and continuing on to the alcohol.

* * *

Xemnas was lost in a sea of women's hygiene products. HE picked up a box and looked at it.

'Super Plus Tampons, ultra absorbency rating.'

"What the hell does that mean?" he asked himself. An old lady walking past said,

" It means they are rated for heavy flow." Xemnas paled,

"Umm… thank you." He grabbed a second box and ran off to find the others.

* * *

Roxas stared at the shelf,

"THEY COME IN SIZES?!" he yelled as he stared at the products. A clerk nearby looked at him quizzically.

* * *

Xemnas slid up to the counter quietly. He placed the two boxes on the counter. The cashier looked at the boxes and back to Xemnas. HE looked away,

"Just ring them up." the girl shrugged and swiped one of the boxes across the barcode reader. Nothing happened, she shrugged and tried the second box, still no luck. She reached for the loudspeaker, and Xemnas almost pissed himself. She turned it on and went to speak into it.

"Price check on Kotex Super Plus Tampons." Xemnas became very self conscience very quickly. He noticed the old man next to him looking at him strangely. Then, Xemnas snapped. He grabbed the loudspeaker and yelled into it,

"YES, I, XEMNAS THE LEADER OF THE DREADED ORGANIZATION XIII, IS BUYING TAMPONS, AND I AM ASHAMED!!"

Xigbar looked at him suspiciously from the front of the store, the man going crazy at the counter as he tried to buy the tampons for his girlfriend.

"This is why we bought the tequila." HE said to Demyx. Demyx nodded,

"He's going to need it." Axel walked up with his bag of groceries.

"You guys see Roxas?"

"THEY COME IN FLAVORS?!" could be heard coming from the sexual health aisle. Xigbar burst out laughing.

"You had him buy condoms didn't you?" Demyx asked, trying to suppress his laughter. Axle thrust his bags into Xigbar's arms,

"You're an asshole." He said as he went to help his boyfriend. As he left Xemnas walked up, dishelmed and out of breath.

"You alright.?" Demyx asked looking at him. He shook his head no and walked to the car. Xigbar kept laughing and followed him. Demyx looked over and saw Axel and Roxas walking towards him with a small black bag.

"You surviving Roxas?" He asked as they walked to the car.

"They come in flavors." was all the young boy said.


	4. Chapter 4

**I STILL DON'T OWN SHIT, BUT I'M SAVING UP**

As the group arrived to their headquarters, Roxas was still a bit shell-shocked, but had regained his verbal skills. As the groceries were stacked in the kitchen area, Xigbar quickly grabbed several bottles and a black bag and ran off to his room. Xemnas looked through the bags,

"WHERE THE HELL ARE MY FRUIT LOOPS!" he yelled, still on edge about the whole tampon ordeal. Axel shrugged and walked off, dragging Roxas behind him. Xemnas looked around for Demyx, hoping to find someone to maul. He only saw Lexaeus, he decided to forgo the beat down, and just give Larxene her 'feminine products'. He walked up to her room and knocked on the door. It opened and he thrust the box into her hands, or o he thought. Instead, Zexion just stood there staring at him half in shock, half in pure fear. Xemnas looked at the small, quiet boy, and took the boxes back from him, ripped on open, and stuffed th eboys mouth full of tampons. Zexion tried to spit them out, but there were to many, he instead ran off spouting a muffled version of 'help me get these out of my mouth, or I'll barf'. Xemnas looked in the room, to see Larxene laying in her bed, half nude looking at him incredulously.

"You couldn't have waited until we were done?" She asked, he grumbled and threw the unopened box of tampons at her. He slammed the door and left.

* * *

Xigbar looked around the room, and tried to find a spot to hide the tequila and other alcoholic beverages, so as to be consumed later. He left the room, to see Zexion running around, with a mouthful of tampons. He stopped the boy and stared at him intently,

"I don't know why, and I don't want to know, my only advice is to not tell anyone what happened." With that, he pulled on of the improvised mouth gags out of the boys mouth, and the rest shifted around and fell out.

"Thanks." Zexion said as he walked off, leaving Xigbar with a pile of tampons at his feet, and Saix walking up to him.

"Interesting collection, some people prefer coins." Xigbar gave him a rude hand gesture and walked away from the pile of hygiene apparel, and went to find Demyx and Axel. HE knocked on Demyx's door, to find him half nude reading a book.

"What?" he asked looking up,

"Why are you half naked reading a book?" Xigbar asked looking at the teen,

"How do you spend Thursday nights?" Demyx asked innocently. Xigbar chuckled,

"Midnight, come to my room, I got tequila." he said with a wide grin. Demyx nodded and Xigbar walked off. Demyx looked around for his shirt.

* * *

Axel stepped out of the closet, and stretched.

"You coming out or not?" He asked looking back into the closet, The inhabitant groaned and limped out. "That wasn't so bad was it?" Axel asked with an evil smile on his face. Xemnas groaned.

"AHHHH!" Xemnas screamed as he shut up in bed, he rubbed his head, and then he heard it,

"MY NAME IS CLOUD, I HAVE A SWORD, I FIGHT CACTUARS, CAUSE IM BORED, I LIKE TO RIDE ON CHOCOBOS, IT'S BETTER THAN HAVING AFROS!!!" Xemnas groaned and looked over to his clock, it read 2:30 AM.

"Damn it Demyx, quit singing!" he yelled as he walked out his door. When he opened it, he nearly passed out.

"BECAUSE I AM CLOUD, MY HAIR DEFIES ALL GRAVITY, AND I CAN'T HAVE TOO MANY POTIONS, OR I MIGHT GET CAVITIES." Demyx sang out loudly, and out of key. Though no one noticed that, the whole organization just noticed that he was dancing around nude.

* * *

Xigbar and Axel couldn't stop laughing, they hadn't expected Demyx to actually go sing nude, let alone dance around the whole compound nude while singing.

"This is the best day of my life." Axel said while laughing. Xigbar nodded, and took a another drink from his bottle.

"Well, it ranks up there, on another note, I found something very interesting in a magazine." HE shuffled around for the aforementioned magazine. He found it, and flung it at Axel. Axel quickly flipped through it, and found what had peeked Xigbar's interest.

"This is almost to evil for us man."

"ALMOST." Xigbar repeated with a grin.


	5. Thank Yous

**BEFORE I GO TO MUCH FURTHER**

I need to give the proper credit and thanks to the following crazy people, and artists, but hey, whats the difference?

Milkypandapire- Mandy (as I call her)- The one who manipulated me into writing this story, as well as misc. pictures depicting some of the funnier original scenes

BlackLillian- Even though she does not know me, I am a big fan of her fan art and her Kingdom hearts 2 comics, they make me laugh something fierce, props to her and all the influence she had on this story

SpookyDoom-Nellie as it says on the art- For the lyrics of the Cloud Song, used in the best way I could think of

I'd also like to thank the academy, because I want to, and I better get some sort of reward for this


End file.
